I woke up yesterday with some pretty negative thoughts. I think it started from a dream, but I can’t remember what it was about. They continued all day, getting worse with the Enemy bringing up mistakes I’d made, or stupid things I’d said without thinking, or those times in school, a teacher made me feel stupid.

Words.

Words swirling around in my head from YEARS ago.

Words of accusation written about me by a complete stranger (because that’s what you get when you are married to politics🙄)

Words said by me in haste.

Words said about me in low tones that I wasn’t suppose to hear…or maybe I was?

Or no words at all.

Situations.

Situations that were awkward because of my own awkwardness.

Situations where I was met with blank stares.

Situations of bad things that COULD happen.

Later, my husband and I went on a much needed date night! Wohoo! 🙌. I was telling him about it and how I could still hear some of these words or just think about these situations and they still made me feel embarrassed or stupid. He looked at me like I had two heads. He didn’t get it. Maybe because I tend to be more of an analytical person, but probably, mostly, because I’m a woman. Now, that being said, I know women who aren’t plagued with this. They don’t give a flying flip what people think or say and forget about it and go on. BUT, I know far more women who are like me and still think about some of those words years later. My husband said, eh, who cares about them? Don’t worry about it. Easier said than done, right? Truly, I’ve gotten better at this over the years, but ever once in a while I’ll see someone, be reminded of something, or like yesterday, the Enemy will bring up hurtful words or actions and it causes me to relive those over again.

One situation we talked about in particular, I committed a social faux pa, I guess you could say. I can’t go too much into detail because it happened at a small town event here locally and I would hate to make anyone feel bad. I was attending this event and as life does, things had not gone as planned that morning. Andy was suppose to watch the kids, but couldn’t at the last minute, I had to wrangle 4 kids by myself, make food for the event and I had a raging case of mastitis. Side note: if any ladies have not had mastitis before, it kinda feels like you are going to die, your boobs are on fire, and it hurts to even wear clothes, BUT you are still suppose to let your baby nurse to help get rid of it. PAIN! Ok, carry on!

Anyway, the socially awkward incident happened and I laughed, (because that’s what I do in these situations) and explained I’d had a long day (even though it was 9:00 in the morning) and everyone just stared at me. No. One. Laughed. It really was funny, by the way. No one cracked a smile. They. Just. Stared. I obviously felt very stupid and out of place. And I realized in that moment, I don’t want to be friends with you people. I don’t want to be around people who can’t laugh WITH someone about mistakes they make. I don’t want to be around people who can’t laugh about the crazy things life throws at them. I promise you God has a sense of humor, so we probably should too! I don’t want to be around people who can’t LAUGH!

So you know what I did? I found a group of people that will laugh WITH me. Not talk about me and laugh AT me when I leave the room, but people who understand that we are all just doing the best we can. They don’t make me feel stupid or out of place when I blurt out something unsuitable or laugh at inappropriate times. Find your people, be yourself, but most of all don’t be the kind of person that lets others laugh alone.

**Please read the following incident and LAUGH WITH me!**

As many of you may know, I recently had a baby.  But this story starts about 6 weeks ago when I was still VERY pregnant.  So this would have been mid-July and one of my kids was doing a music camp one day a week in the next town over.  It was too long to drive home, so we had to find something to do for a couple of hours each week.  I had made a summer schedule, of sorts, and this day in particular was our “service day”.  So, we decided to do some random acts of kindness while we waited.  This particular day, one of the places we were going was to the laundry mat to leave detergent and quarters on the machines.  To be completely honest, my kids were about done with our service days and were complaining about even getting out of the car.  Again, it was mid-July and they had done all the fun summer stuff, attended all the camps, and were over the heat and unscheduled days.  I, on the other hand, was feeling the same way, but trying to teach them that life is not all about them.  So, as I’m screaming lovingly reminding them that we needed to meet the needs of others, heaving my very large self out of the vehicle, and getting all our stuff to bless other people, I vaguely remember looking at my purse and thinking, I don’t need it.  We were just going to run in and be on to our next stop.  Well, as I’m telling off lovingly reminding my 6 year old, I slammed the door, just as it dawned on me, the keys.  THE KEYS!  Yes, the keys were in the ignition, the purse WITH the extra key, the cell phone, the wallet, the diaper bag, it was ALL in the car.  That was now locked.  So in my normal fashion, I don’t panic.  We go leave our stuff for the random acts of kindness.  I have no phone to call anybody, so we head over to the fast food restaurant next door.  I use their phone to call Andy, who is in the hay field 2 towns over.  It’s a miracle he even answered.  He informs me I have the only 2 keys to the car, both which are locked in the car.  I have to call the police.  So we go back next door to wait for them.  Again, its mid-July and the parking lot in front of the laundry mat is blacktop.  Keep that in mind.  The police arrive, look at the car and say, well its an older model so I probably can’t do much.  He tries, I’ll give him that.  No luck.  They tell me I need to call a wrecker service.  They can get it unlocked.  Again, no phone so the officer kindly gets the number for me.  Me and all the kids waddle back over to the fast food restaurant.  We use their phone and call the wrecker.  They said they would come in 30 minutes.  Meanwhile my kids are starting to whine and want something to eat.  No money, wallet is in the car.  At this point, I’m starting to worry about picking my daughter up from music.  I don’t have my phone so I don’t know the teacher’s number.  Who actually knows phone numbers anymore?!  I’m trying to be positive and teach my kids that things happen for a reason, but they aren’t buying it anymore.  We happened to see a neighbor in the restaurant, who could probably see my distress and he insisted on giving us money for ice cream.  So we eat our ice cream and wait.  And wait.  The wrecker finally comes, and he says, “Well, it’s an older model so I’m not sure what I can do.”.  Really?  Can we stop hating on my vehicle.  Yes, its old, but it is paid for!  He tries for a while to get the doors unlocked.  All the while, we are standing on the pavement sweating and I’m trying to keep my cranky, fighting, children from trying to run out in the road.  He announces that he can’t do it.  I needed to call a locksmith.  Again, the phone is in the car so me and my 5 kids waddle back over to the restaurant to use their phone AGAIN.  I call a locksmith and they said they would send someone out.  At this point the 2 year old poops his pants.  Yep, you guessed it, the diaper bag  is in the car.  Also, we are now at least 45 minutes late to pick up my daughter with no way to let her teacher know what is going on.  We head back over to the laundry mat to wait where we encounter many colorful people who want to tell me their whole life story while I try to keep my kids from killing each other.  After about another 45 minutes, the locksmith arrives, and can you guess the first thing he said?  “Well it’s an older model, but I’ll see what I can do.”  Really people?!  I’ve got 6 million kids, there’s only so many vehicles that will carry us all!  So, he looks at me, and then at the 6 million kids fighting with each other, and then at the laundry mat, and promptly tells me he only takes cash.  Again, the purse is in the car.  I told he could follow me to the bank to get cash and he agrees.  He goes to work on the locks.  Meanwhile, I’m praying this works and thinking, really God?  I know this happened for a reason and you are trying to tell me something, but what?  Now as I’ve said, it’s mid-July.  I’m hugely pregnant and wearing a moo-moo dress.  Ankles are non-existent at this point in the game.  I’m sweating, the kids are fighting.  2 year old smells like an atomic poop bomb went off in his pants. I’m trying to be positive, but all I could think of is, this is a train wreck.  The only way this could get worse is if my water broke.  About 1 minute later, I feel something on my leg.  Something cold and wet.  I looked down and there’s “water” streaming down my legs.  I looked at my oldest daughter who is, fresh off the “where babies come from and how they get out” talk just a week before, and she could see the panic on my face.  I start patting my legs, like this isn’t right, and then my behind.  Then it hit me.  Y’all! It was SWEAT!  Butt sweat no less.  I lost it and did the crazy laugh.  Poor little guy working on the doors had no clue what was going on.  I’m sure he probably thought I was dying from a heat stoke or something.  He got the doors unlock and I got him his cash money.  We went to pick up my daughter 2 hours late and I went home and got another key made!  I still have no idea why the Lord allowed that little incident.  Maybe it was to slow me down.  Maybe it was to teach me some patience.  Maybe it was to hear that lady’s life story at the laundry mat.  Maybe the locksmith guy really needed $50 cash money.  Or maybe somebody just needed to LAUGH WITH me. Just laugh. It makes everything better.